Posted in Africa by Allie Rothman on 2/11/2012
We walked through the market like the day before... we talked with the locals... we shared the love of Jesus... but one thing happened that changed my life FOREVER....
One Saturday afternoon, a few of my girls and I were praying through the market looking for ways to show God's love to the local people of Tororo, Uganda. Julia and Anna, the two team members I was with, were off in a shop praying for another woman, while I for some reason hung around outside. I didn't know why, but God told me to stay, so I did.
I stood there, awkwardly not knowing what to do, when I man came walking down the dirt pathway. He literally ran into me with his cane and asked, 'Can you please buy me medicine for my eyes? I am blind."
Before I could even react, these words came out of my mouth, "No, I will not buy you medicine but I will pray for you to be healed and see."
WHOA!!!! What was I thinking! My head went crazy as I realized what I just told him. Never have I prayed and seen this miracle. Never have I prayed and seen someone actually physically healed in front of me. What if it didn't happen? What if I promised Him to be healed and his view of Jesus is crushed??? What if...
I frantically grabbed my girls, and the locals who so happened to be surrounding the area watching. I told them what we were going to do (even though I had no idea what I was doing). I felt like God wanted me to read some of His word, so I flipped my bible open and read out loud, in front of 20 or so people the story of the blind man being healed. I asked the man if he believed in God's healing power. He said yes. I said good, we need your faith right now. (haha).
So, we began to pray. We all, women, children, and us, layed our hands on him (like Jesus did) and prayed. Julia prayed fervently over him, tears began to pour down her face... I began to know and believe that this man WAS INFACT GOING TO BE HEALED. I can't explain it, but I just knew...
After praying for a while, we all just stopped. Everyone looking at me, I asked me the question, "Open your eyes In Jesus name. Can you see anything?"
SILENCE.
It felt like days before he spoke, and then he did...
"I see!"
"What do you see?" We asked.
"EVERYTHING."
Some may doubt... some may say that our friend could see all along, or was lying the entire time... BUT it is TRUE. I cannot explain how it happened, or why for him and not so many others we prayed for that day, but it did for him, and Jesus gets ALL the glory. ALL the honor. ALL THE PRAISE.
I am now forever changed. I have heard for years about God's miracles happening and have yearned to see it for myself. Today was that day, and It was only day TWO of our ministry in Africa...
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Posted in Africa by Allie Rothman on 2/5/2012
I don’t really know what I was expecting in Africa… but God has far exceeded any expectations I had…
Friday was my first full day of ministry in Tororo, Uganda with the team. We are working alongside Deliverance Church, faithfully responding in obedience to whatever ways they ask us to serve them. Our ministry on Friday: “We will go into the market and evangelize.”
To say the least, I was really uncertain of what ministry would look like and what “evangelize” actually meant here…
We divided into 4 different groups, and each group was blessed to have a member of the church as our translator.
My translator was Regina. Regina is 60 years old and loves the Lord more than anything. She spends her days serving the Lord in whatever way He asks… but mostly evangelism.
There is so much to tell about how God moved today, but I am just going to jump to two of my favorite moments.
Amil: He works in the market sharpening knives with a bicycle looking contraption. Regina quickly calls me forward to come and share the gospel with him. We start talking about God and life. I told him that I believed in Jesus and wanted to learn more about what He believed. He began to explain to me his own beliefs, but quickly switched in curiosity to find out more about mine. “Who is this Jesus you speak of? Please tell me everything.” I begin to share God’s story with Him starting from the beginning of creation, following the resurrection until now. With Regina translating, it was simply amazing to watch God work. He asked great questions and had an innate desire to know more about Jesus. Unfortunately, we had to leave for lunch, but he asked to meet again. We are meeting at church on Sunday to read the bible together. I asked him what time, and he said 7am. I knew that I wouldn’t be there then, but he responded, “Oh I will wait for you Allie and Jesus.” I look forward to Sunday….
The hair salon: Later in the afternoon after lunch, we headed back out to the market. We ended up at a hair salon where four women were in the process of getting their hair done, and others were busy socializing. We began chatting about life, and as Regina led the discussion, we quickly began asking the women about their own relationships with Jesus. Julia, one of my team members began to tell the story of Jesus, and as the conversation continued, one of the woman, Rose, seemed to be completely checked out. Her body language and facial expressions expressed that she was the least bit interested in what we were saying. SUDDENLY, something switched on. Regina spoke to her in Swahili for a little bit, looked at me, and said, “Okay, she is ready to pray for a relationship with Jesus.” I responded in disbelief, “Are you sure!?” The women laughed at my reaction, as always. We led her in prayer as she invited Jesus into her life. When I got up to leave, Regina quickly corrected me saying, “Allie, where you go!? We have 4 other sisters in here to hear the good news!” And so we continued… and all four beautiful women accepted Jesus into their hearts. One by one, they each got on their knees (without instruction) in the salon and cried out to Jesus…
The crazy part? There’s 7 other stories I could tell from just today…
The crazier part? It’s only day 1 of our ministry in Tororo, Uganda.
 
My student Julia leading one of our friends from the
salon in prayer tohave a relationship with Jesus!
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Posted in Equipping (pre-launch) by Allie Rothman on 1/27/2012
Update: I am not going to Thailand anymore (right now). BUT I am going to Africa!
In the past 2.5 weeks, I have lived some of the hardest days of my life with God. I have questioned His goodness, His faithfulness, His words spoken to me... He has had others question my character, my choices, and my faith. Again, it has not been easy.
Sunday evening, I sat in a prayer room in Toledo OH with just me, my journal, bible, pen and God. I waited on Him to start talking. To explain all of the reasons He is putting me through all of this...
You see, I had plans to go to Thailand. I had dreams, desires, and excitement for that time. I had prepared. Then, in one evening at St. Elizabeth's hospital, it all changed. I had an emergency appendectomy and could no longer leave the country for two weeks. My plans quickly dissolved, and I was left in confusion, anger, and sadness. I was no longer going to Thailand, the country that had my heart... Instead I was going to Africa... the placeof the unknown.
In the silence came one word: CONFESS.
I journaled in response, "Confess what!? You're the one who messed up my plans. Who is putting me through all of this... I GAVE UP EVERYTHING for you AND YOU DID..."
In that moment. I stopped. Speechless. All I could do is weep...
I wrote in my journal, "I can't say anything because all that I've done for you STILL isn't ANYTHING compared to what you've done for me... You rescued me. You're my Savior. You died for me. You give me life. hope. purpose. You gave EVERYTHING."
So, all alone in the prayer room, I got on my knees, and confessed. I confessed my pride. My false beliefs in who He is. The lies I fell for. My lack of faith and trust in the Creator of all. Allowing my sinful nature to rule in moments... my ability to make an excuse for anything. My lack of gratitude and so much more...
Humbly, I then asked...
"What do you expect from me in Africa?"
HE ANSWERED:
"To lead humbly and servantly
You are not in control.
I AM.
Give it up.
Surrender.
Become the person I created you to be.
It'll be as hard as you make it.
DON'T RESIST."
I leave for Uganda Sunday January 29th, 2.5 weeks later than I planned. Could I have lead to Thailand? sure. but I wouldn't be where I am. In 2.5 weeks He has transformed me to become more like Him. He has stripped me of my pride and brought me to a new deeper place of humility and dependence on Him. My faith and trust has been sharpened and strengthened. My identity as a child of God has been renewed.
I planned to be in Thailand right now. Not still in Youngstown, OH at my parents house. I can now say confidently, obviously God had other plans! I think the biggest thing I have learned about Him is, "He cares so so so much more about us knowing HIM than the plans..." He is Good. He is trustworthy. He is faithful. HE IS EVERYTHING.
I sit here in awe of His grace and goodness. I can't believe that He has chosen me to go to Uganda, Kenya, and Tanzania to lead fellow disciples in this journey. He has done so much in 2.5 weeks in me... What's He going to do in 3.5 MONTHS??!?
I wait expecting Him to move like I've never seen... I cannot be more thrilled to continue this INCREDIBLE journey with my Jesus...
Africa, Here I come... changed and READY.
There's so much more... I just can't write it all quick enough... but if you have questions, please don't hesitiate to contact me before Sunday...
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Posted in Thailand by Allie Rothman on 12/29/2011
A well-known tourism agency listed Bangla Road, our ministry location in Phuket Thailand, as one of the top ten things to See describing it as this:
"There are few things in this world to prepare you for an after-dark stroll down Patong's Bangla Road. However, a sense of humour and an open mind are prerequisites if you're looking to have some fun. In fact, there's only one undeniable and obvious fact about Bangla – it's nothing like home. With its ladyboys, exotic girls, enchanted westerners (mostly male) and enough extroverts to fill a Disney cast of thousands, shopping or sipping on a beer at Bangla Road at night is a definite 'Dear Diary' moment."
If you have ever walked the roads of Bangla, not with the eyes of tourism, lust, or a "sense of humour" BUT with eyes of justice, this description would aggravate you, like it does me.
I remember the first time I experienced Bangla road. It was last last February during the day actually. All 12 of us piled in the back of a pickup truck for the first time, and drove the 30 min. ride. We were all joking around and taking in the scenery, (it being our first week in Thailand) when all of a sudden, we all became silent. Some of us, including myself, became sick to our stomachs, while others heavy or with headaches. We didn't know where we were, but we knew something wasn't right... the truck pulled over to let us out. We realized We were there, Bangla road on Patong beach.
That was my first time experiencing that type of spiritual warfare... where the area is so consumed with darkness that your physical presence i is interfered. Where we could actually feel the push back of the LIGHT we possess against the darkness there.
That afternoon, we walked among empty bar stools, bar signs which gave us a picture of what was to come that evening, praying, but really having no clue how to pray for this place. I remember trying to imagine what it will look like that night...
I could have never imagined or prepared myself for what I saw...
What I DIDN'T SEE were "ENCHANTED western men, ladyboys (men dressed as women), exotic girls, or Disney extroverts" like the website described. What I saw were desperate men looking to fill something through an act of meaningless pleasure, women entrapped in an industry with no sense of HOPE doing the work out of obligation to a culture, and men, women, and CHILDREN oblivious to the darkness that surrounded them.
Bangla has estimated 1,700 girls on these streets alone working in the sex industry
Maybe some would call me judgemental for my above statement, but I can't hold back. With tears in my eyes, I remember the friends I made sitting on those bar stools. The countless stories I heard of my friends not even knowing HOW TO WANT MORE for themselves. The stories of these women thinking so little of themselves because of how the world sees and treats them.
I am saying all of this to DEFEND my friends. The ones I personally know, and the THOUSANDS I don't, but pray for. For the man who was on vacation that said to me, "If your God exists, he doesn't love me." and the millions of men he represents who visit Bangla road.
In 20 days, I will be in-flight to Phuket, Thailand. God has blessed me with the opportunity to GO BACK to these streets. To lead 7 amazing women into the battle against darkness on Bangla road. He has entrusted me with this mission, and for that I am sincerely honored.
I left Phuket in March 2011 with regrets... I regret not PRAYING more for the women while IN the bars. I regret not pouring EVERYTHING I had into the ministry the Lord had for me there due to pride, For staying quiet instead of speaking out, for speaking out when i should have listened, for giving up when i should have pursued.
Haw gracious is my God to allow me to GO BACK.
I am a different person than I was a year ago. Jesus has rocked my world and empowered me in ways I never thought possible. Now, I get to be empowered EVEN more, and get to empower my team for 4 MONTHS IN PHUKET THAILAND. We, as a team, get to walk the streets and bring the presence of Jesus to Bangla road, speak LIFE into the lives of God's children entrapped in the sex industry, and to BRING HOPE to Thailand.
wow. Amazed.
With it quickly approaching, I am still in need of financial and prayer support. Please consider PARTNERING with me in this battle to bring LIGHT AND HOPE into one of the darkest places in the world, Phuket, Thailand. I TRULY believe that as a supporter, whatever I do, you are doing as well. So, with every conversation I have, every prayer said, every hug given, you are doing the same. If you have questions, or would like to be on my prayer e-mail list, please comment below and leave your e-mail address or e-mail me at allie.rothman@gmail.com. I'd be more than happy to disclose more information on my ministry and what it will praticically look like. To financially support me click here.
I can't express how thrilled I am for this opportunity and what the Lord is going to do through the 8 of us during our 4 month stay in Phuket, Thailand!
Also, to receive e-mail updates of this blog, subscribe here.
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Posted in Thailand by Allie Rothman on 11/30/2011
11 months ago, my team leader, Mathew Snyder, described me like this on his blog:
"She’s a little spit-fire! Allie, to me, is a very unexpected person (and I don’t mean that in a bad way). I was praying for her yesterday morning and the Lord gave me the craziest picture for her. She was standing inside of shoes that didn’t fit her. But she walked around in them with such confidence and with such authority. I felt like I saw hell glance at her and give her no never mind because it didn’t perceive Allie as a threat. Little did hell know… but this girl KNEW who she was. There’s something that a knowledge of identity releases. I’m convinced it’s an uncanny authority. Allie’s walking around with that already. The best part? It gets on people. I’m really eager to see what the Lord does with Allie on this trip. I have a feeling that the impact she’s going to have on women is HUGE… and it’s only going to ripple into a legacy."
...little did he know, (and myself), I was not yet this person, BUT was about to step into becoming just that...
"She was standing inside of shoes that didn’t fit her. But she walked around in them with such confidence and with such authority."
Since returning from the world race, I have stepped into some bigger shoes, size 12 to be exact. I was asked to project lead (alone), short term mission trips all over the United States for Adventures in Missions. During these trips, I would be responsible for handling the logistics, budget, ministry contacts, schedule, and teachings throughout the week. WHAT!? ME!? I remember the day I was given my first trip assignment: Last Vegas in 2 weeks. I was given a packet of instructions, some contacts in Las Vegas, and a password to a blog. Feeling unprepared, having no idea what I was doing or even where to begin, I got on a plane and left for Vegas. In the end, I think that is exactly what God wanted...
because...
I CAME ALIVE. The love of God rushed over me in that week like never before. Jesus spoke right through me, empowering those students and leaders like I never thought possible. I became a leader in God's kingdom that week, and through me, God moved like I have never experienced or visioned for myself.
For the next 3 months, I led 4 other trips to various locations. I learned from those experiences my own strengths and weaknesses. The areas that I allow God to move THROUGH me, and the areas I hold onto tightly, wanting control. (lame). It was a hard 3 months, not going to lie, BUT I knew that I stepped into something. For awhile, I couldn't put my finger on what it was, until I re-read Matt's words. I stepped into:
CONFIDENCE & AUTHORITY... not in myself, but in Jesus. In my God.
God still has bigger shoes for me to step into.
He just gave me another pair today. Size 13...
I leave in 6 weeks for Georgia, where I will meet 5-7 girls whom I will be leading to Phuket, THAILAND for 4 months.
What for? To bring LIGHT and HOPE and the presence of Jesus into one of the darkest places in the world.
Does this make me uneasy? YES. Why you ask? because I don't wear a size 13 shoe (I wear a men's 7), but God is calling me to bigger shoes. The only thing I can do, is rely COMPLETELY and FULLY on God for every decision, every girl's journey, every baht (Thai currency) needed, every month, every week, every day, and every moment we are there. To give control over to the sovereign one, who by far DESERVES it.
I really have no idea why He asked me... All i know is I am left in awe, gratitude, and adoration of Jesus. All I can do is do my best to honor Him and love Him back with all of my being.
Hope Mendola's words of wisdom to me in my journal January 1, 2011:
"Turn to God first and always. Be honest and open. feedback and forgive. Allow God to use your story to tell His. You can have as much of God as you want, but you must WANT Him to the point of no return. when you want something you make sacrifices... Sacrifice for him, Fast. pray. love."
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Posted in United States by Allie Rothman on 11/6/2011
What is a girl to do?
I just watched a documentary on Sex trafficking in Washington, DC. The stories, experiences shared, and facts given were right on with those I personally heard from the rescued, those still in the "game," and those fighting against it. The statistics were reaffirmed. The images of 12 year old girls on the streets were replanted in my brain, and the feeling of urgency was reawakened.
I find myself sickened at the reality of the situation. Every night I am in the U. S., I sleep in a cozy bed, with my pillow and two blankets, while in my own backyard, all over the country, and across the world, men, women, and children are "OUT THERE" on the streets. They are being watched by their "pimps," forced to sell themselves all night over and over again to "men" of all races, nationalities, social class, and occupation. 100,000+ men women and children right now at 12:14 AM are starting their night of work in the United Sates... as I am going to bed.
I Remember...
I am quickly reminded of the time in Atlanta, GA when my team went out for Princess Night. At one of our last stops, we came across a girl at a truck stop. A YOUNG girl dressed in a short skirt, to much make-up and heels that she probably has never walked in. We slowly approached her with simply a rose, a word of encouragement, the intention to show that God loves her, and if she so desired, the option to hop in the van and escape.
We walked up, greeted her, and genuinely asked how she was doing.
Scared, she quickly turned away from us, (A first for the night.)
Then the never forgettable phrase came from her mouth, "I can't talk to you. I don't want to get in trouble."
I replied, "Why would you get in trouble?"
the girl: "I just will. If you care, please just leave."
I'll never forget the look of terror in her eyes at that truck stop. Her constant need to look over her shoulder at a car parked closely by, and the evident desperate desire to NOT be there.
She couldn't have been 16...
 At 8 AM I will be waking up. But where is she??
I am now back in Ohio for only 2 months before going overseas again, watching yet another documentary, and accompanied with the feeling of urgency, I am left with one question:
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO???!!!!!!!!!!!
I have dreams, visions, "ideas" of the "what" to do. Its the matter of going with the "what God wants me to do" about it... I know something... I am just uncertain on the details...
*sigh*
Som I'll pray and seek...to start.
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Posted in United States by Allie Rothman on 10/9/2011
Maybe I'm WRONG... maybe those minivans were truly families staying at the motel, and maybe that house owner just really wanted a red light in their front porch light, and maybe those girls REALLY were just standing on the sidewalk at 1am wanting to wear those outfits...
I live in Toledo, OH,which has been cited by the FBI and the NCMEC as a top U.S. recruitment city for trafficking children. I live in Sylvania, the suburbs of Toledo. I live on the outskirts of the city where it seems pleasant and where I don't SEE trafficking day in and day out. Well, so I thought. I thought that I could ignore it, forget about it, live my days without the feeling of disgust, heart ache, and sorrow for the victims like I did for four months. Again, so I thought.
Tonight I was driving back to Sylvania on I-80. Getting off at Renolds Road, I had two options: Take the quick 475 highway route... OR take the route of strip joints, adult video stores, and motels... For some reason I chose the second.
I started driving and came across one of the motels. Of course I get a red-light in front, so I peer into the parking lot to find a big white van, and a few girls standing outside.
I drive a few more miles down past the adult video stores. Another motel. The parking lot? Three identical Honda minivans. Across the street was a NEW strip club with a group of girls in on the sidewalk waiting. Behind the strip club, one house caught my eye. It had a RED light in the porch light...
I was trained to SEE trafficking. I was trained to SEE the signs and report them. I was trained to see the weird vans at crappy motels, young girls at strip clubs, the one different colored light or mailbox at a house on the street...
I wanted to quckly dismiss everything that I saw and give everyone the benifit of the doubt. I wanted to convince myself that the minivans were for families passing through overnight, that the girls were just waiting for the bus to go home at 1am, and that the owner of the house was just preparing really early for Christmas with that red light on his porch behind the strip club...
BUT... there's the possibilty...
Maybe I'm RIGHT. maybe those vans were for transporting underage girls and boys to sell for sex MOTEL TO MOTEL, and maybe that house WITH THE RED LIGHT was a brothel housing underage girls (yes, we have those in Toledo), and maybe those girls on the sidewalk WERE being watched from a distance while they prosititute thelmselves...
When you are trained, or become educated about something like trafficking, that knowledge doesn't just go away. It sticks. You can't just say "oh poor them" and move on. Some kind of action must take place. What am I going to do about my experience tonight? To start, I am going to pray over those areas....
Do you live in Toledo? You now know that Human trafficking is a (BIG) problem in our city. What are YOU going to do about it? (If intrgiued and would like to get involved in SOMETHING, let me know, I got some ideas.)
(This post was literally written at 2:30am so apologies for crappy writing and bad grammar)
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Posted in General Posts by Allie Rothman on 9/29/2011
Facebook made me mourn today when I saw this picture:
(My World race team reunion 10/12 of my team at the Awakening conference in GA)
I think sometimes I convince myself that the race isn’t over... That one day my team will be reunited, and we’ll travel the world and bring God’s Kingdom to earth together once again...
Reality set upon me...I mean, that’s probably never going to happen.
A couple of weeks ago, I had an amazing experience. I was 10/12 of my teammates, and a few squadmates in Georgia, for 3 days. We worshipped together, ate together, prayed together, laughed together, dreamed together, pushed each other, encouraged each other, and well... LIVED together. We were back in a sense, and it felt amazing.
But, we were all different than before. Each of us had grown. Each of us were in different life stages. Each of us had matured in our faith. But it didn’t matter. Being together, calling greatness out of each other, in our different selves, was just unforgettable. That did not change.
Yes, it was only for 3 days... but it reminded me... It reminded me what the body of Christ can look like when in community. It reminded me what we had, and what I am called to create wherever I go and whoever I am with. It made me yearn for it.
So... life moves on.. God reminded me this morning that community changes sometimes, but one thing never does: HIM. He is constantly the same. He is always with me, He will never forsake me. He is ALWAYS there.
I am in Sylvania, OH for the next 3 months, and I am DETERMINED to make the most of it. I am determined to live in authentic community, to bring God’s Kingdom, and am determined to just be with God... HERE.
Yes, earlier I mourned “the loss” of the future with my team (ps. we still stay in touch and see each other frequently, but its not the same), BUT I rejoice in the present and future. I rejoice that Jesus has called us to live in community. Since He calls us to that, He PROVIDES it wherever. So, again, I look forward to this time with my Sylvania community, and I look forward to the community He will provide in january...
oh yea... by the way.. I am going back overseas! I am leading a Passport trip through Adventures in Missions SOMEWHERE overseas. yup. (more to come).
PS. NEXT BLOG IS IN THE COMMUNITY I HAVE HERE... Because I DO have community here in Sylvania!
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Posted in United States by Allie Rothman on 9/1/2011
When I try to take control of my life... when I try to make my own decisions. to “figure things out” on my own, God always reminds me to TRUST in Him first.
Since returning from the race, my life has been a fish bowl full of question marks: The UNKNOWN. The one thing that I asked God over and over again for before and while on the race is “No Question marks, please!” I feared returning home with no calling. No purpose, no job, no future planned. Only question marks.
God is funny...
Needless to say, that is what I came home to.. A fish bowl of question marks. I still had no idea what my "calling" was, no desire to immediately go back overseas, and really with no direction from God but to WAIT and be patient.
Instead of being patient and waiting on HIM, I decided to take things into my own hands. Immediately I began to take control. While in Atlanta in my last month, I frantically posted on facebook about the need for a job, emailed, craigslisted, but one thing was missing: PEACE. In my strain to “figure things out for myself,” I did not find answers, but instead, found myself full of stress, anxiety and this sinking feeling of urgency. THEN, in the midst of a breakdown, Jesus reminded me, “I am in control. I’ve got you. Give it to me and you will find peace. ”
I laid in bed that night, sobbed, and handed MY future, MY plans, MY goals, MY question marks over to the Father... Then, there, in the stillness, I found peace... His presence overcame me and all I could feel was gratitude and peace.
Ever since then, my life still being a fish bowl of question marks, I have been able to walk with a peace about HIS plans for my life. Everyday has been an adventure... BUT HE HAS PROVIDED.
This summer, God has allowed me to lead 5 short term missions trips to various cities in the US with Adventures in Missions In midst of that time, He has provided me with a friend’s apartment to crash at, food to eat, money to buy gas, and people to learn from and to be challenged by.
He has taught me so much about who He really is, His authority, His grace, and His gifts. I have been learning how to FULLY trust in the Lord for EVERYTHING. I have learned that I truly cannot do anything by myself. It is by Him and His grace alone. period.
This fall, I am entering into a new season (literally). I am living in Sylvania, OH, working (yes, He has provided me with TWO jobs), and resting in the Lord about the future. Recently, as a friend was praying for me, she saw me standing on a cliff, with nothing in front of me... BUT as soon as I took a step out, God built part of a bridge, and with every step I took the Lord PROVIDED the next part of the bridge...”
That is my life currently. Taking risks, stepping out in faith KNOWING that He will provide. He has so far, and will continue to day to day, moment by moment. Man, Jesus, you are sooo good!!!
I now find myself no longer fearful of the Question mark, but embracing them, taking them on, and trusting the Lord for the answers.
 
Support Staff in St. Louis under the Arch!! The Iraqi refugee family we brought f furniture for in St. Louis
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Posted in United States by Allie Rothman on 6/4/2011
This past week, I helped out at a training camp for future World Racers. I sat through talks similar to the ones I heard back in October before I left for my race, I ate "similar" food, cleaned bathrooms, and worshipped with the same band. BUT one thing was drastically different: ME.
Before this training camp, I knew I had changed, but really didn't fully understand why or how; UNTIL Monday night. There I stood, with 250 other racers singing the words "I am loved." I could not get the phrase out without giggling in the middle. Every time, I giggled.
Don't get me wrong... I've "known" that God loves me since I was born, but there is a difference between knowing and believing. There is a difference between believing and believing full hearted. I believed, but in that moment, I realized that I then and now believe full heartedly.
Since being back in Toledo with the church fam, people have seen a different Allie. People have explained it differently, but my favorite was told by one of my best friends, Shayna. She said, "There is just a joy in your eye that wasn't there before."
I giggled when she told me that because I knew WHY. Something changes you when you are constantly encountering the LOVE of God. When your eyes are opened, and begin to see a little into how He sees yourself. His creation. His children. You can't help but giggle.
I am pondering more on the HOW. How did God change me?? As I reflect on the past four months, all the heartache, sickness, brokeness, anger, frustration, tiredness, and smells, one thing stood true:
His unfailing love. No matter what I did or how I felt, His love showed through it all. Through an encouraging word from a teammate, a smile from a child, the perfect song on my Ipod, a breeze on a really hot day, a seat on the train, Chik-fil-A workers (blog to come), or a whisper from Him saying "I love you..." His love stood through it all. I saw it, and BELIEVED FULL HEARTEDLY.
I catch myself giggling and smiling for no reason lately.. No reason accept the belief of God's love for me. I want to say that it can't get any better... BUT I know that it does, and all I can do is anxiously wait and giggle.
Back In Ohio with some good friends!
Erin, Me, Hope, and Shayna
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